Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
