I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
