singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
