An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
