I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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