stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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