Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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