I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
