Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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