Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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