If that was your dad, he is hot
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
