Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
