what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
