It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
