look no pants
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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