He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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