The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
And then he peed in my hair
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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