Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
