Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
