He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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