I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
