When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
