yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
