he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
