super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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