put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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