in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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