I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i out mim tonsoeep
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
