Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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