We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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