I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
