i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
