Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
