i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
