We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
