you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
