who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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