I need help removing her.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
