I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
