oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
