butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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