Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
