if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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