Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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