well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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