As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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