Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
