I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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