I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
