Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
