Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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