I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
